Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Celebrity Food Chain and Pig-Face

The world of celebrity gossip—and blogging, in particular—reminds me
of the food chain that our universe is governed by. Everyone has their
place: from the top-feeding celebs to the slimy little bottom feeders like
Pig-face here.

At the very top is the HUMAN MAMMAL—or the mighty celebrities that
Pig-face likes to mock yet secretly envies, such as LindsayLo and Fergie.

Right below them, is the ubiquitous "rep," such as Eliott Mintz (Paris Hilton's
shadow) who serves as the main link from the outside world to the inside world
of the celebrity. Below him are legitimate celebrity magazine, such as People, who
buy their photos from the next group on the food chain, photo agencies like TMZ
and Splash. Their teams of "paps" stalk celebrities under the excuse of "it's their job."

Finally, on the very bottom of the celebrity ocean, in a dark layer of life where few
creatures dare to dwell, sits Pig-face. Quick, the big fish are swarming around you,
Pig-face! Hide under that algae leaf or ocean brine.

The awesome illustration at the top provided by my trusty art director, PablaPicassa


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you. Perez is a bottom feeder.

I was a fan until he outted Neil Patrick Harris. Something as personal as that doesnt deserve to be forced. It was Neil's right to do it when he was ready, not cause perv pigface says its time.

Here here FuckPerez

7:05 PM  
Blogger Jan said...

I'd add one more layer before him: bloggers that, albeit not paying for pictures, aren't actually profiting from their sites, and just having fun. He comes even lower cause he steals, but makes hundreds of thousands of dollars from his theft.

6:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your "chain". But perez should be a pile of poo.

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget adam4adam, etc. Also did you know he had to pull a Whitney photo today, looks like the lawyers are watching.... can't wait

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's been 24 hours...Perez is missing...what did you do with him!! Seriously tho, any thoughts on his whereabouts??

3:35 PM  
Blogger Bedazzler said...

Lovely work. A+.
Best, Miss Stalker.
Brandon's NO1 fansite on the NETTE!

1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, I don't get what the big WHOOPIE is over this PEREZ HILTON character! It is NONE of his business if some people don't want to come out...Leave 'em alone, Perez!

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow...i feel you!

initially, i was a fan, however, as perez' popularity grew, so did his ass-kissing.

no longer did he take cheap-shots at EVERY fucking-body, he started to do the very thing his web-site claimed to abhor...he started kissing ass.

so, yes, absolutely, this mother-fucker is an absolute ass-kisser, brown-noser, and the list goes on...

kudos to you for creating an entire fucking blog devoted to this fact.

keep rockin' out with your cock out and keep callin' all those fake-assed bitches out!

pachebel's canon in D

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YES! Keep this site going, please! I was a huge Perez fan until he outed Lance, then I sort of got an icky poo feeling about reading his blog but still did.. until he started ragging on girls being too fat. Looked in a mirror lately Perez? What a bloated piece of shit.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

6:03 PM  
Anonymous Flappy Chuck said...

6:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This loser has shown no boundaries. I was shocked to see that he would attack a child. (Dakota Fanning) It's only a matter of time before....and I'm looking forward to that.

2:59 AM  
Anonymous Hez said...

Perez lost me when he "forgot" to mention the bestevs gossip about Paris Hilton barfing on stage. Dude may as well be her new kinkajou. Must be an awfully expensive pet carrier to come in his size.

Say it with me now, people: "Faustian Bargain"!


6:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well perez is still going strong, set a new record yday-millions of viwers in one day. and your site?? well.....looks like you havent updated in days and have very few comments. are you still planning to overthrow the queen??

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol at you. hating gets you nowhere. guess you are figuring that out arent you??

5:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perez is getting sued by TMZ for 7.5 mil and a bunch of other people have got together and served him - check out TMZ and Splash News sites, it's about time, he is a phony.

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

STILL waiting for you to take perez down.....apparently the lawsuit is not affecting him any. you seem to be more concerned with it than he is\


long live the queen

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

idea, bombard his sight with negative comments. suggestions no matter what his post is about, everyone leave messages like:
perez is a gorilla or
perez looks like an albino monkey or
fuck you perez or
perez has been hit with the fat and ugly stick....etc etc
perez smells like ass

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dunno if anyone has recently notised that Perez is a man so therefore in any possible way he can be a "Queen". That loser should stop calling himself a queen cuz the last time i checked hes a man and no matter what he does he will always be a big fat man.

12:01 PM  
Blogger Ronny said...

At first I liked Perez Hilton's site. Then he hooked up with skag queen Paris Hilton and he roving band of untalented whores. When he started pimping out that gutter snipe, his site when downhill.

My advice to Perez, save your money and don't look down. It's going to be a long fall.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Ronny said...

Oh and a big PS to all the "team Perez" posters .... I don't think the purpose of this blog is to "take Perez" down. He'll do that on his own one day. Now run along back to his site and suck on the teet of the pig boy.

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

perez is a fatfuck
going after children is a new low. I can only pray that ashton and bruce meet him in a dark alley and fill him in on whats the what. I used to like perez, but between demi's children and calling tyra banks a plus-size model, I no longer go to his site.

7:26 AM  

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